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“What is there more kindly than the feeling between host
& guest? -Aeschylus, (458B.C.)
Have gracious social manners gone the way of the typewriter? “Not”,
says Shannon Smith, image consultant and founder of Premiere Image International.
There is a shift from today’s relaxed attitude and lack of etiquette
to a more formal gracious manner. Gracious manners are still the basis
of human interaction. The election of Barrak Obama as the next President
of the United States proves it. With good manners, you project confidence
when meeting and greeting others, introducing people, making small talk
or winning a presidential election. Gracious manners are in…big
time!
Personal know - how and possessing gracious social manners are crucial
to creating a successful special event (or a presidential campaign) that
will get you rave reviews from your guests and votes…guaranteed.
Some social scientists and civility experts argue that good manners improve
your chances of personal and business success whether it is a business
or social function, a networking event or a party in your home. Those
who lack good manners lose opportunities, promotions, social opportunities
and friends.
With stiff competition, corporate restructuring and global and personal
demands, companies tell me that they are not hiring or promoting those
who lack professional polish, social or business etiquette. Hosting skills
are more in demand than ever, whether it is at the mid management level,
sales level or the executive suite. In both the business and social worlds,
I have seen how poor social graces limit individuals. Senior management
tells me that they are appalled with employees with atrocious business
and social manners and poor dining skills.
High IQs and lofty accomplishments do not automatically guarantee good
manners. Seldom taught in schools, manners are often absent from the busy
home-life. There is a lack of time for sit down family dinners, teaching
politeness, appropriate dress and grooming. Manners appear to be a life
skill, which we are supposed to obtain through the media or by imitating
others. Yet, many individuals seem to be on the fast rack; they appear
self-assured, even though they have never seen a fish fork or a finger
bowl and are terrified when faced with damask table linens. They also
lack the art of small talk, are always in a hurry, speak fast, walk fast
and do not appreciate what being gracious is all about. Graciousness and
refined manners are simply a combination of common sense, logic and kindness.
The Golden Rule...”Treat others as you would like o be treated”
should be our cornerstone. Manners are the greatest tool in our toolbox…especially
when entertaining and hosting events.
The Savvy Hostess always maneuvers with grace and style and….
1. Takes care of every detail from beginning to end.
2. Sends invitations our early so guests can plan to attend. It’s
a busy time and everyone’s schedule is tight. Checks and calls to
make sure guests received
the invitation and are able to attend.
3. Includes an interesting mix of people plus some new faces to the
guest list.
4. Establishes the mood right from the start…whether it’s
a casual or elegant party, a dress code should be in place to eliminate
confusion.
5. Include music in the plans. Keep the volume low enough so guests will
not have to shout to be heard.
6. Presents a menu that is varied, interesting, colorful and easy to
eat.
7. Ensures that the proper cutlery and china are available. NO PLASTIC
PLEASE!
8. Provides an abundance of food and drink. Abundance rules the day.
NO SKIMPING…you do not want to been seen as cheep!
9. Check every last detail at least a few hours before the event at the
venue. Do not let the early bird see you in a flap.
10. Makes every effort to ensure that guests are comfortable. Treat everyone
as if he or she is a very special person.
11. Is appropriately dressed and groomed early. Ensure that you know
what to wear and are not in hysterics at the last minute. .
12. Knows his stuff – is socially adept, witty and charming. This
is the time to indulge your guests, not yourself.
13. Has small talk down pat! Stick to safe topics. No politics, sex,
off color jokes or religion.
Above all, BE ALERT…. PREPARATION IS ALL! IT’S YOUR PARTY
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ENJOY YOURSELF - BE IN CONTROL - BE COOOOL!
You can buy Shannon Smith book(s) here at http://www.booksbywomenforwomen.com,
and access other free articles in our archive; and in addition, find out
more about some of our other amazing authors.
Shannon Smith is a leading image strategist and founder of Premiere Image
International. She is also an etiquette consultant, writer, TV personality
and featured in national publications. Shannon assists individuals transform
from unnoticed to unforgettable and provides one on one training and programs
for company across North America in Apersonal branding. Simply put –
a contemporary finishing school for adults. Customized programs include
image mastery, executive dress and grooming, presentation skills, manners,
business etiquette, executive dining to international protocol.
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