For two months now I have been taken to places in my mind and body all night long as the time ticks and the darkness seems much longer than the light of day.

Getting to know myself through the heat flashes of menopause I try to observe and unite with this relationship with my hormones. The hot flashes persist during the day but distractions keep me going, in the sleepless hours I can be totally present.

I can see how women have gone crazy with the symptoms of this time period called the change of life. I have heard translations like the menopause is a pause from men. My husband gets to watch me as I peel my clothes off when the surge of fire screams through my body taking my breath away. I become wet with the tears of my body and I turn to him and say I am untouchable…I am sorry. He is so caring and compassionate as I search for holistic approaches to ease my discomfort.

I can remember my mother and her mood swings and the days that she could not cope. I now understand why….she didn’t have the support I have and the wisdom of the women’s club embracing this threshold of the ageing Goddess. The insights and education in articles were not as helpful as they are now.

Last night I started to speak to my body and ask her questions around this experience.
I plead with my body and quietly feel the sadness and tiredness within my heart. I have stopped drinking coffee long ago and even my weekend decaf has been stopped….no more chocolate….lots of water….healthy veggies ….alcohol is not interesting to me ….a few sips of red wine occasionally for celebration must be okay! I exercise daily along with my on-going emotional fitness program where I release the past and present fears, angers, self doubt and disappointments that creep up at any moment.

I am trying my best ….I cry with my mind and heart. “What more can I do?” I ask.

I am guided to memories of my younger days when PMS ignited any emotions that were not taken care of monthly. Teenage hormones take our daughters to other planets and send them back to us with emotional outbursts as we shake our heads and wonder where our little girls went.

Well….they went to battle the hormones and the emotions that are erupting from every cell of their body…..preparing for motherhood and then menopause.

I feel another power surge of energy move up my spine…it feels like all of the blood is rushing to my head and my heart feels like it is on fire, melting every organ in me.
I ask my body, “What are you trying to tell me?”. Moving into the experience I feel the sadness of my body and I see that the tears need to be released. A life time of tears are finding their way out of every pore of my skin.

Hormones….I see Her moans…..the moaning of the body transitioning any sadness or tears that have not yet been released from within.

I see the plan and I move into acceptance….

Being with this message I struggle for a bit and then I am grateful for the insight.

I am sure that the whole mind, body and spirit have been part of this journey with the threshold of my ageing. I have been taking care of my emotional body for 20 years now; my spiritual body having awakened shortly after my physical and emotional health crashed. Years of union with my mind, body and spirit have been a good thing and sometimes a good attitude will shove away sadness or tears. For years before my breakthrough, my life challenges pushed emotional and physical toxins down into the core of my body. I was not as conscious then about healthy living and cravings with my need for love took me away from my own connection to my self.

Yes, I was a caretaker and didn’t take the time for my self that I needed….oh guilt ….yes that was another seed of pain. It is all coming clear to me ……my heart, my other organs…liver and kidneys for example were damaged because of my denial and I am sure that my healing is a forever process.

Because of my ongoing commitment with my personal journey and relationship with my emotional health, I am sure I have cut myself some slack with my menopausal symptoms.

Depression or mood swings are not a problem….anxieties with the hot flashes are taken care of at the point of ignition while I lay awake and don’t ignore any feelings that are rising to the surface. This process of taking responsibility for my emotional body over the years has saved my family from the horrors of me being an angry, resentful woman at this time when I am being truly stretched…. sleepless nights and the moans of my body on the threshold of my life change.

I am wondering if the protocol of HRT suppresses this experience and manifests into disease. God made our bodies with the precision of wisdom to find its way to healing.
Holistic approaches and wellness choices can help ease the struggle yet the process to clearing is absolute and necessary for each of us.

The question I asked my body was answered for me. It is a time to release the tears or sadness from deep within the memories of my soul. I will be with my tears as they are released from my heart and my body with the flow of the energy that I allow to lift me to the river of clarity. I am here to heal with my mind, body and spirit….every stage of my life brings me to the presence of heaven over and over again.

I will not resist change and I welcome a new ageless beauty…. The union of my healing body with the wisdom of my spirit.

I am grateful for the understanding.

You can buy Colleen Hoffman Smith book(s) here at http://www.booksbywomenforwomen.com, and access other free articles in our archive; and, in addition, find out more about some of our other amazing authors.

Colleen Hoffman Smith is a Toronto based author, facilitator and developer of The Inner Workout™ Program which she created as her emotional support system that transformed every aspect of her life. She has been sharing this powerful life practice for over 15 years empowering others to experience a life of unconditional love and peace that comes with emotional freedom.